arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never let your siblings swipe right.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
