Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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