I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
