Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
