never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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