We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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