It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
