sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
