I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
