I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
