Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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