Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
