my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
