Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
