my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
