They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
