I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
