Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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