wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
