forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
