Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
