U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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