we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
