i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
