But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
