You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
