i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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