people are starting to question the shark bite story
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
