seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
