I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
