What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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