Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
