Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
