Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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