after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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