please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
