Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
