Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dicks are not precious.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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