I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
