I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
