Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
