So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
