dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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