Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
