i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am one with the molecules
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
