no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
