All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
