I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
