looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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