I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
